Friday, October 17, 2008

You Better Look At What You Got. Over Here, Hello!?

Merrily We Roll Along is quickly drawing to a close. I've learned a lot about myself and about my acting style. I still have a long way to go, though. Weekend two started yesterday. It was hard going back into it cold, I wish we had gone through it once on Wednesday when we took production photos.

In the dressing room people were talking about Tramp Stamps. Let's just say I'm not pleased that people think my three inch long, one inch wide (don't make this a 'That's what she said" moment, har har... *eye roll*) tattoo is a tramp stamp. It's a pretty derogatory term, all things considered. Yes, I did get it on my lower back. But did you ever think that it has personal meaning or sentiment to me? Or that you'd really piss me off and make me feel self-conscious when you tell me that's what my tattoo is? Because basically you're calling me a whore. Which, NEWS FLASH - I'm not.

People who read this are going to think a few different things, depending on who they are.
1. "She's self conscious because she IS a tramp."
2. "She's high and mighty."
3. "Shut up and stop complaining."
4. "I never thought of that... okay, I'm sorry. I'll think more carefully."

I really feel bad about myself, even 15 hours after the conversation. I'll get over it, I'll be proud of who I am and so on - in a few days. But for this moment: Displeased. the worst thing of all, is that these were my friends talking. Not just some random people.

I totally lost my technique for singing 'Now You Know', and the second we ran through it I recognized that. Of course, then, the whole first act I was freaking out about it. Not so much walking around going 'OH MY GOSH I'M GOING TO SUCK!' Just, running through it over and over in my mind. Right before the scene where the song comes, I walked up to Tony (who plays Charlie and is on two antibiotics as well as a steroid for a severe case of strep throat: he's not to go to classes again until Monday and was lucky the hospital let him out.).

"I'm really nervous about 'Now You Know'. I don't have it."

He looked me straight in the eye and said the nicest thing another actor has probably ever said to me, and the best advice as well.

"Don't be nervous. When you get nervous, you clench your hands and you tense up on stage, I've watched you do it. Relax.

"Now, you want to know the secret to not being nervous? I'm not nervous because I have her, and him, and her, and her..."

He pointed to our fellow cast members, the crew running around helping props get into place and costumes go on smoothly

"...And all of these people to thank for it. Because of them, we're here. You are good enough to be a principle. And you are good enough NOT to be nervous."

Holy motivational speech! I was ready to cry at that point, he was being so nice. Did I mess up the song? Eh, I've done it better but it didn't sound bad, per say. I'll re-practice today before the cast gets in, and do better tonight.

***

In other news...The Philly's won the World Series! Pretty much fantastic. Michael was there with my uncle and I'm guessing he'll have that memory for the rest of his life. I remember being able to stay up late watching games that went into extra innings.

No comments: